Merry Christmas 2020

Unprecedented. This word has been the most overused word this year I would say. As many would know, it is unprecedented that it has to become law to wear masks whenever out of our homes. It is also unprecedented that Christmas will be spent with no more than extra 5 visitors and eat with no more than 5 at each table. The list could still go on such as no party, no bonus, no increment, and so on...

It could become an easy word to misuse and treat it as an excuse for everything else. Covid, unprecedented, so what's there to celebrate? What is there to be happy about? It's unprecedented! So, let's just suck it up and let our heads bow down until such time when we can truly be happy, to be happy.

However, should we really allow that to happen?

What has happened, has happened. What will happen, nobody knows or can predict what will happen. I learnt a quote from the past. " Do not let what you cannot do affect what you can do." 

Borrowing another famous quote from "Dumbledore: Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

We can be shrouded in sadness or allow it to overtake us. However, all we need is to remember to turn on the light. Even a speck of light will render a room of darkness weak.

The year 2020 has taught me a serious lesson. Often, I would always bear as much as possible and just strive to work it out until the next time I have a proper break, say a holiday in Thailand. I would work or just put behind whatever bad there was and feel consoled that my big break is coming. Anything else can wait.

End of the year 2019 was bad. Bad news and more bad news. I looked forward to the BKK trip in Jan and absorbed all other bad news and pushed it to the back of my mind.

Start of the year 2020 was equally challenging the way 2019 ended. I was overwhelmed at a certain point and just then Covid struck. The circuit breakers, the fast and furious manner in which the entire world struggled to cope with and adjust to the perils of the dangerous virus was just too much I thought. I had no escape this time. I had no chance to run to Batam or Bangkok to hide away. I had to take on challenges face on and by the horns.

I learnt how not to stash away fears and run to my comfort zone and wait for the tide to go. I learnt that it is no big deal for the year to must end on a best high or that every year must have a good ending for it to be good. I learnt that life is full of ups and downs and one cannot possibly wait for the tide to be up in order to be happy and strong mentally. I learnt that problems can come and go easily; happiness can go and also return easily.

As such, Christmas is perhaps an important time to remember all these. Even when we are in self-despair, think about those who are in situations worse off.

This year's present for the Missus is special. Need to keep up with the times, thus went shopping around and again, another HP merchandise to add to the collection of HP.

The Deathly Hallows. To some, it presents some occult. To me, it just meant one thing. Its the most powerful symbol in the whole of HP(correct me if I'm wrong) that when in possession together, it makes the person the most powerful wizard ever. Ok, not trying to be foolish here, but its a gift to for a good year ahead to beat the challenges and come out victorious every time. The time turner charm was nice, but albeit too big I feel.

However, most importantly, it is a time for families to get together. Despite having only 5 visitors at any time, it was good to see loved ones having a good time together after what has been a really difficult year for anyone.

Nice food, nice companionship and drinks.

Merry Christmas and I'm sure by this time next year, it will be better than now.

Mr Ussenal.

The Diam Diam Era - Handsome Boy in Stirling Road.

 

Recently, I had the chance to watch Jack Neo's latest movie The Diam Diam Era in the cinema. It was fun and nostalgic and together with the 60s to 80s soundtracks, it just made the ticket worth several times the outlay I paid for it.

Not for any special occasion, but as a need to put together a team video for the office online Xmas celebrations, I had to dig some old photos and it brought me to the video montage of our kiddos time which we had put up for our guests during our wedding. Many memories and it just seemed like yesteryear when I was still wearing the spiderman t-shirt.

Nostalgia. XXXXX

2 Timothy 4:7

 I have bid farewell to my Uncle Richard, the closest brother to my father, and probably the uncle closest and have been closest to my family since I was young.

The year 2020 has been a year of unnerving emotions. A near full year I would call. WIth Covid19, it has wreaked havoc for the entire world and reset several things. Some would see it as a consolation that it has made them see things from an alternative perspective, work being digitalized etc, and so on. Alas, had the disease not struck, will these still be called as a "consolation" to their lives?

The year started with the very difficult impending departure of Uncle Wai. It's one of the hardest things to accept seeing family going through what he went through and we go through what we have seen. You anticipate, and then hope against hope and then finally accept and wait for the due.

Then, a parent of a neighbour passed away after being in a coma for 2 days, and family pulling the plug when the doctor declared him brain dead and no chance of revival. Surviving children were only 7 and 5 years old. What is worse than waking up and not seeing yr dad who would have been his hero anymore? A life is cruelly taken away just like that.

Weeks ago, I visited my favourite shop where I would get my office wear and was shocked when the first words i heard upon stepping foot into the shop was to hear the passing of the uncle, the owner of the shop. I remembered the uncle as an ever accomodating person and that was the reason I have always patronised. I could not imagine that the visit before the covid would turn out to the last time I saw him.

Uncle Richard had been battling with a clogged artery situation for the past year.  He had had a bypass surgery several years ago, but unfortunately, the condition has returned and doctors gave the bad news that his heart was only functioning at 10 to 15%. It was a precarious situation and he had to undergo surgery immediately failing which he may have heart failure. Days before the op, he decided to withdraw from the appointment and then cancel the whole operation altogether. He wanted to try and just live on and if he should 'go', he would want to leave without pain or fuss. Despite advice against such a move, Uncle Richard felt that he does not want to die in the immediate surgery which would have taken place about this time last year. 

Instead, he tried to lead a more relaxed life and went on to visit all over Singapore, and at the same time, he has begun to return to the Lord. 

He would tag several people including me in FB on morning wishes and blessings from the Bible until one day when he said that due to unforeseen circumstances, he had to stop. I thought he had perhaps been tired and not feeling well. Never did I expect to find out that he had suffered a heart attack days ago. 

On 4 December 2020, I received news that he had passed away in his sleep. I cannot understand and cannot accept how quickly time has reached. The doctor said"anytime".. How did the 'anytime' become the time now?

As I was involved and wanted to take part in JY's wedding, I had to give the funeral a miss. My heart pained when I could only see the live stream of the services up to the cremation, of my aging uncles and aunties whom i have always loved to talk and mingle with. They lost a beloved brother and I lost an uncle who had shown dote on me no less than what a father would give to a son.

I would now miss his nagging (nags to my parents), his smiles (he has hardly shown a black face ever before), his dao sa pia ,bak kwas and food that he would buy when he strike 4D, such as an expensive duck for dinner.

Knowing that he may have little tech support on his phone and limited laptop, I felt the need to help and assist in what I can. What I had learned from him was that he was very open to new stuff such as tech gadgets. He would read learn online on how to use the computer and handphones as opposed to my father, who had very little exposure to tech stuff was very reluctant to even use Whatsapp.

As said by one of my uncles, Uncle Richard led a simple life. His hobby was to play the jackpot and he had treated closed ones with love. I still remembered he bought me a desktop, which costs $2k when I was 16 I guess. Looking back, Uncle Richard was not always very rich; but to fork out $2k like that shows his generosity and love for me. During the days when he was still working, he would also give $50 as a weekly allowance to me. He was never a miser and when he strikes some lottery, he would always bring my parents out for a meal, or just bring them to MBS or around Yishun for a get-together. I guess my parents have lost a very close brother and a companion who has been with them for decades. Even in the Chua family, he has always played the role of the sweeper; quietly standing away from the limelight and often with us during gatherings.

I was not able to write any messages on the condolence book or leave any message during the live stream when asked to but I m sure being tech-savvy, he would read this blog when he is free and know what I had to say.

In life, we always keep our heartfelt words as heartfelt, until it becomes too late. Most of us are unwilling to exhibit our true feelings often until there is no more opportunity to do so.

Just when I thought Christmas would be the last saving grace to have any left in a year turned upside down by Covid, Uncle Richard's passing away has been like a kick to a beggar whose bowl of coins would spiral across the streets and into the drains.  Uncle Richard's birthday falls on Christmas and I suppose the yearly noisy gathering of the Chua family would be quiet; a deafening quiet.

Despite the emotional struggles that have been an onslaught, we must never lose faith in our Lord. I trust in his plans for all of us and his timing for what develops in our lives is always impeccable.

Uncle Richard has fought the fight, finished the course, and kept the faith. It is our turn to continue to do so.