2026

Most blogs would have died by now.

I love to write, be it typing or literally writing as you might wonder.. in today's AI age and a 'no reason' world we live today. I feel typing restricts my creativity somehow as part of my mind is preoccuied to searching for the keys although i can type blindfolded. Writing with a pen is still the way how my ideas flow well.

World has changed a lot the past few years, much more than what I had imagined what post Covid would look like. Humans, after the scare of a pandemic, have become more selfish/quiet/isolated. However, that being said, I believe everyone still yearns for the good old times and as such, this sole purpose retains the humanity and sanity that keeps the world going at least.

My dad remains the sole authoritative figure I hold so much respect for. However, he has changed a lot since, i would not like to admit - gotten some sort of dementia/delirium. He has forgotten many things and is no longer able to speak well and eats little. All the nice food he has loved before are no longer his favourites and when he turns into a Hyde, you no longer recognise him as a person, let alone a dear father. It is both sad and frustrating because you wonder how the heck did he become like this? There are all sort of illnesses but dementia/loss of cognivtive abilities are the most scary. You not only become less of what you were as u age but you cannot even remember yourself at times and your family and friends. This sort of punishment is the worst of all because it pains everyone associated with the patient and there is no reversal. It makes you think really hard at the end of the day what makes you happy. Does my own happiness matter or do my loved ones' happiness matter more? No brainer here. As long folks are happy, Missus is happy, I would be contented at anything. Just a cup of bbt to tell myself a good day has been clocked and watch some tv and game and sleep.

I am approaching my 20th year at YLP and I just picked up a 'wonderful' lesson that reminded me of many things I learnt and picked up in my earlier years. Not that I needed this type of worry at my age but from a very positive point of view, age and years of experience can count for nothing if you are not careful. What was most scary from this encounter was that some people do not change; give them a twenty-year period and they still do not.

Meantime, in 2025, I started to think that I should really treat the things I enjoy more sincerely aka - to enjoy them better. Thus I went back to Maplestory again. Hahaa uncle playing the game.. But I remember there were uncles playing the game when I was a young adult. The game created so much nostalgia with old battles with old friends etc and friendships built from the game. The whatsapp group is still thre although some have left but some remained. Of course there are only 2 active friends left and I am left scratching my head all the time what to do for certain quests etc. But the game has evolved so much that it is designed for people to solo train rather than in a party. Gone are many things I loved but i after abt a year being back, I still love the game and will continue to love it.

I have also gone back to futsal - 6-aside. Thanks a lot to Daniel, the player whom I take so much inspiration from. My ex sergeant in NS, he is a person whom I listen to everytime he speaks and he has never been the snobbish type in my years with him. He is an excellent defender but more a keen lover of the game. The monthly futsal games will never take off without him. I also treasure all the remaining years my legs can carry in futsal be it a one way striker (goes and never comes back) or a goalkeeper. haha..

In Feb 2026, I went for the Introductory Coaching Course conducted by FAS to fufil my dream of becoming a coach. Not that I can coach effectively now, but it was great to be able to rejoin a course which I took in 1998 at Jalan Besar. I was the youngest back then and now i am one of the oldest. A coursemate cheered me on when I was first to arrive and brought all the eq to the pitch and the last to return and wash the bibs and hang to dry.. saying' Tj is nearly 50 and look at that from morning till now!' It was an awakening to me and when I looked back at my dad, I realised he must have noticed that his memory has started to digress when he was abt 60? That was when he started taking down notes and jotting down things to buy etc, doctor appointments. When I think about that, I realised  that time is short and fun time always seem to be finish so quickly.

I also finished an Aquaculture course in Feb 2026. First time knocking out a fish in clove oil, injecting fish, scraping skin to check for diseases, cutting the gills and extracting blood from the spine. what an experience! I love it and was closed to quitting the course when I had more stuff on my mind but luckily i chose to believe that this will be easy to complete since i love fish and I should enjoy it not run away from it.

I still love bettas but unfortunately I have come to realise that crabs are best left to nature. No doubt they are cute to watch but i feel its well-being is best served in the wild than in an aquarium. Having kept a few crabs by now, I always feel that they are not happy totally in a tank and they seem to know they are being imprisoned somehow.

Bettas on the other hand are intriguing. I continue to learn from mistakes and strive to provide the best for them. I love to maximise my tank and buying fishes remain my first love. Nothing beats choosing your own fish and asking the boss to pack for you. 

Tuition wise, I have been blessed by God to be able to take in more students from Twl and am thankful for having the chance to impart life knowledge and lessons to them. Every year passes on so quickly and everytime when I wished that we could chat somemore to know each other better, they have reached the age of 16/17 when they would graduate and I would likely seem them no more. Not that its painful or regretful but I always wished I had more time with the kids and thus when they graduate, I always hope they have learnt a lot with me and would go on to be excellent figures for their loved ones and juniors to look up to. I did not have a shining example at 16 and thus the yearning for all of them to be something better than I was back then.

Right now, there are a few wars ongoing.  We never know how it will go and how its impact to us will be even though it is far. World war 2 was far too but..

I feel wars are dumb and people who start them are even dumber and selfish.

Thailand  - remains the most visited country by I and the Missus. We have explored many places and despite going there in Feb 25, May 25, Dec 25 and Jan 26, it still remains a place we love to go to for the food,shopping and or course Chatuchak \market. As most places are changed into concrete jungles, Thailand has largely remained the same past ten years. More shopping malls but still retaining the feel in markets like Chatuchak. Air tics are much more expensive and airline food sucks. lol

So much for now, and soon we will approach mid 2026.

2024 - another year beckons ahead

 

I had an urge to start like "WOW WHAT A 2023!".

Then I wondered that 2023 was okay. A bit upheaval here and there as expected in every unexpected year that has come and gone since I started to sort of worry about time slipping past by 10 years ago.

We always say time flies without really meaning anything - It is not possible to really feel time is short when we are young and have the entire world at our feet. In the 90s, there was the Iraq war and many other conflicts, mad weather, mad men to contend with and as a young teenager, I felt nothing except that army was going to kill me and that I did not know much about my future or want to do anything about it.

This 2023 has been sort of a chastening year at the workfront. In what began as a drizzle, the shitstorm of a severe manpower shortage is still hitting us hard today. Out of near 52 weeks, my team and I have been working on at least a weekend day for 50 weeks. This is both hilarious and at the same time tragic. Business became very good but we were working our socks off day in day out till I had seriously broached the subject of if I am good enough to do this for another year or two. I wasn't getting any younger and for the most of 2023 I have been struggling with poorer vision which I attribute it to the short hours of rest I have at all. Even when I am on leave, I can never put down the worries of work and it has been like that for as long as I can remember in 2023.

Joywise, that was also nothing much to crow about. Soccer kickabouts have come to a standstill just when I had managed to find a good pair of futsal shoes. I can never go back to the fun days of the 7aside soccer at the Turf City or look forward to the Monday futsal sessions. It was a place that I felt the sincere respect of some friends, which ultimately disappeared when they left and subsequently I left too, after feeling an immense lack of respect from certain quarters. Do I regret how much I could have acheived as a player? Yes. I wished that I had all the channels available to today's soccer kid and I would work so hard and I knew i can succeed becausse there will be nothing to stop me. However, recently I signed up for the Talent scouting course  and although i felt fun to monitor the kids, but deep down I know I love to teach.

MrsUssenal has gone to another SCC and although time passes by even faster, because she is either asleep or sleeping from 9pm, Days would and go so quickly that we are now again at December.

December always bring along some sad memories because it is the month where Uncle Richard passed away. Facebook would throw up memories from November and right up to near Dec, because that was the time where Uncle Richard would have started to feel real bad then.

2023 is also the year where the realisation of my dad; that he has aged and not the sturdy man he once was. 2 hospital trips and the gradual realisation of him going on the backfoot has made me open eyes to where I had not wanted to look at.

Tail end of 2022. Hello 2023.

 Quickly, and as often said here or elsewhere, in a blink of an eye, here we are at the tail end of 2022.

When I was young, I always felt that time seemed to be moving faster with every year. I was sure that there must have been some mechanism that makes everyone dizzy while time tries to go faster every day such that its job is completed when the end game comes.

When I was serving my national service, I still remembered the above. Although time seems to be draggy, it didn't change what I had thought about time. The amount of nostalgia felt for my NS days is something that cannot be explained in a few paragraphs. If I still feel so attached to my NS days and remember that so many things happened, surely time could not have moved faster and faster.

For the nearly the past 3 years, life has been a blur. With so many of life's usual practices stopped, changed or revised, life can't be treated like how we live in an endemic. To try and get back our old lives as much as we can, we learn how to live with Covid. Ie, learning that taking vaccine and wearing the masks are part of the minimal protection and living with the risk of being infected on a daily routine. Some day or another, there would always be someone nearby who would lying in bed and recovering from Covid.

The year 2022 will end with the hanging up of my soccer boots eventually. While it was really fun and challenging to pit my fitness weekly on the soccer pitch with several soccer kakis, ultimately all good things have to come to an end, no matter how good it felt. As a young boy, I took it upon myself to form my own soccer team at 13 years old after seeing a flying newspaper notice in the New Paper about a soccer 7s at Sentosa. After making several friends and getting the privilege to play with several skillful players, I was glad to have managed to play in a couple of 11-aside games which at the age of 43. 30 years on and a broken ankle, I have only the Primary 6 interclass trophy to boast of in terms of accomplishments. 

Be better than the Best! This is the mantra I remember by heart. It was taught to me during NS, when my platoon commander Mr Pritam Singh made us come up with a water parade chant. Although it doesn't make any sense in English, it is a phrase which I have kept close to my heart, believing that one can never be the best for more than 2 seconds. The minute you think you are the best around, it's time to be that better. So in short, these 2 words better and best can never cohabit. You are always trying to be better (than when you were best). I believe this was also what the entire company bought into and took it as their own mantra, to be always outstanding in what we do and be proud of it. The minute we let ourselves an indulgence, standards will drop. it is the same in work. Why be second best and when you can be the best?

2022 is also the year that Argentina won the World Cup again after so many years. I can't really be bothered about Messi, but Argentina and Maradona were my heroes when I was only 6 years old, and my dad and brother brought me to a place outside the National Stadium for a Panini Sticker Book event. I was so happy whenever get to see Diego Armando Maradona's sticker. He was my favourite player and I loved seeing the Argentina soccer team in their famous light blue and white stripes jersey. The final was one of the most exciting and nail biting games ever and now I hope that Arsenal can also do the same and end the season with the title, something which this great club has not won for a long time.

Everything resets in a few days' time. I would say that 2022 has been a defining year of sorts. It is the year Singapore and rest of the world (China, albiet a little later) have come to cope with Covid and resumed most of the normalcy before Co19. Will life be the same again as in 2019? I seriously doubt so.

Renewal

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.

 On the 7th day of October 2022, yours truly has finally contracted Covid 19. Whilst being annoyed at being infected, I am most thankful to Lord that I didn't contract it at the early times, when everything was so unstable and when most of us including even the authorities have little knowledge of how to combat the virus. 

After hearing so many stories of how some would cope, I am thankful that other the first 2 nights which were rather torturing, I find myself regaining strength from each day and knows that it's only a matter of time before I am back to my feet.

Isiah 40:31 comes to mind easily as I have often prayed this verse for all my senior folks, loved ones whom I have grown to appreciate more as years gone by. Even if we do not interact often, these are people whose names have been on my lips and ears since I was a child and I pray that their energy be renewed like an eagle's when they rest their laurels with the Lord.

As I have also come to the realisation about my own physical limits in terms of soccer recently, I finally understand why it could be difficult for professional sports people to give up their sport competitively. Be it a professional or an amateur sportsman, I guess the decision to "come to terms" is often not an easy one. I pushed myself hard but while I have had the heart, the body doesn't respond as well and after several rounds of poor performance, I have come to accept that perhaps the standard has dropped so much that I would not like to remember myself as the Chinese player who can only hoof the ball out. I have a nice amateur soccer outing for 13 years old and I think I can have no regrets about not playing the game in person anymore. 

Recently, I have had the opportunity to finally attend a 2-day course to learn about the ropes of the things/regulations to opening a fish shop in Singapore. It has always been an aim to attend a course where I can pick up more knowledge about fishkeeping. Although I would say that the 2 days are too short to cover everything in depth, I was glad to be able to use the course to inspire myself to find out more what was going wrongly for my community tank and also to determine what was wrong with my fishkeeping routine for the bettas. Every time when I thought I have got it going for the bettas, something will happen to tell me that I hadn't got it right yet. So, for a long time, it seemed that I have only managed to get it right on the surface despite keeping bettas for a long time. Without a filter in those tanks, it's always a challenge to go against the norms of water chemistry protocols, ie, filter, bacterial colony system etc. It's a challenge to go down to the root and try everything to get it right. Perhaps the most knowledgeable line I have heard at the course was: "Every fish has disease in them. It's a matter of time and when their immune system drops such that the disease is allowed to take over". As such, prevention is to be exercised at all costs, rather than cure. At this age, the grand trophy is not to have many trophies or winning fish. I would like to think that the grandest prize for fishkeeping would be to enjoy the companionship of the fish I bought for as long as possible without shortening their lives or getting them sick. It doesn't matter if the fish is super comp grade or not. If a hobbyist does not know how to enjoy the simplicity of fishkeeping, then he must have wasted his time. Fishkeeping is not about having 100 comp grade fishes and screwing everything up but knowing how to keep 1 fish healthy and enjoying the process. I have come to accept that every fish be it comp grade or not; it will end up dead earlier if we do not know how to take care of it properly.

On the Covid front in Singapore, everything has nearly gone back to normal except for people who are still required to wear masks on public transport. I feel personally that wearing the mask has been my sole protection for a long time until I got infected last week. I could only think of the time I had spent playing with futsal with 20+ people and other than that, having lunch at my own workstation, where there are colleagues who walk around maskless. Well, I could have gotten it from anywhere, but I just feel that it is insensitive not to be wearing mask when your neighbouring colleagues are still wearing them for obvious reasons: to protect oneself and loved ones. If my colleagues have that in mind, why would I want to disrespect them by doing the opposite and not wearing a mask myself? I suppose most anti mask people would think that well, you can wear them all you like, but I ain't wearing them. Thus, I feel as colleagues, we should also be sensitive about this and not just think, well its endemic, to hell ya with the masks. I have come to be a firm believer of the mask. Even if not for covid, can you imagine breathing in all the germs/bad breadth/fart from someone's a** whenever in the public? I only wondered why mask was wearing not educated to us more accurately - that it could actually prevent most people from spreading the disease and getting it etc.

Well, this world continues to amaze me with people and stuff these days that I won't even bother batting an eyelid about anymore.

Mr Ussenal

July 2022

 With a blink of an ey... No, it aint a blink of an eye this time. 

Once more, quite some stuff have happened since the last update.

Trying my best to remember them in chronological manner:

1. Arsenal nearly finishing the top 4 in 2021 to 2022.

2. Resumed weekly futsal. Missed only 1 game since government relaxed the rules totally from May 2022? 

3. Resumed back the crazy game GTA 5 PC mode

4. Bought a new laptop after 10 years.

5. Departure of several colleagues, some not too bad some I dont know well

6. Sang ktv at home

7. Realised I couldnt sing as well as I would have liked

8. Doing social work at ARC Children's Centre

9. Parents getting Covid and going through the ordeal of 9 days

10. Michael be turning 3 in Oct 2022

11. We got our team's BBQ session back on track again. Incidentally, it was fixed back in July , the same date as our very first bbq nearly 10 years ago

12. I still love Chopin

13. Forgetting Im turning 43 and tried to play 3 futsal games in 8 days

14. BTO block finally about to be completed

Although it is easily seen from the above list that travelling isn't there, I have practically no regrets. It's nice to travel but after a few years in our own backyard, somehow the urge to travel has died off and I have grown used to the routine or no longer bound by the " I need to travel to re-charge ok" mantra.

I have grown to be grateful for the the little things I have and are still having. In every family and life, there are problems, no doubt. But there underlies also things that we have that we can be happy about as long as we look for it.

In today's messy world dominated by stuff such as:

1. Weekly shooting kills in USA

2. Mindless war

3. Increased protectionism

3. Increased insecurity 

4. More virus ie, Monkey pox

5. Inflation

6. Size of chicken drumstick now smaller than my hand sanatiser

7. Clients' representatives who are still acting like 20 years ago thinking that the world world owes them a living

8. Journalists saying that its okay for children to draw the wall

9. what else.

20 years ago, I remembered the world being friendlier and life was easier as a young adult. Another 20 years from today, things will get even more drastic no matter how optimistic we try. It's kinda scary when I be in my sixties then and I wonder what's in store for us old folks then.

Anyway, July is always a good month, with the new launch of Arsenal's jersey and of course our anniversary and also some birthdays. Its slightly dreary these days when its another year and another year. 

Well, to the next time again. Song playing on Youtube (Kiss the Rain, Dont know how the autoplay went) is just too melancholy to continue writing. A curse or gift?

Mr Ussenal.

A little about Bettas

In a pandemic, I find it a mental test one's sanity. Not only do we have to grapple with the many restrictions in place to keep us (or the economy) safe, we also have to deal with the fatigue and daily fear that has hit us since Jan 2020.

Life was already difficult to some pre pandemic and made worse with the onset of this long lasting disease. Jobs lost, businesses closed down, dreams ended up in smoke, families separated and some not even having the chance of saying goodbye. It seemed like a punishment meted out to us humans which seemed to hard to bear. But I always keep the faith that none of this is from God and although I cannot understand why this has to happen, I get that with humans around, there are always some sort of destruction happening.

Moving on to some brighter stuff, many people have since then adopted and adapted to find things to do which makes them happy and occupied. Working from home has changed the dynamics of the workplace 180 degrees and while some may embrace them due to the nature of their work, I'm not much of an agreement that work can be done in a sanctuary we call home. I can workout like the Rock at home with the same gym equipment and so, but does it beat working out at the gym  with the fellow gym mate, sweating it our and getting motivated by the commandosque training which the instructor is blaring out?
Certain things cannot be replaced with technology but this ain't a GP paper about that.

Ok, finally moving on to the brighter stuff. 

Bettas, or what people used or are still calling today: Fighting fish. I have been keeping them actively since 2002 after I sent my flowerhorn to a local show and was attracted to the bettas on display.

I was intrigued by the the different colours and forms they enjoy and kept in separate tanks each.

I remembered that I had kept 2 bettas in a honey jar when I was young and they died.

I caught on a name card Kelson Betta and wondered how beautiful his fishes were. Long story short...Mrs Ussenal and I made good friends with the owner Kelson and his shop is always the top place to visit, regardless of the fishes on sale. I have had great success with Kelson in the past when I was active in competitions and many of my top prizes were sourced from him. However, his shop always gives a serene feel and adding on the nice fishes on display, makes it a nice experience overall, be it purchasing fishes or just having window shopping.

To date, the shop has been operating for near 20 years? Long may it continue to serve the local community and encourage fish keeping among the youth so that they realise that other than games, keeping a pet fish can do so much for their studies and social growth.

 

November 2021- Autumn (if there is)

 

Here we are. November. No, this is not about any Maplestory post. I had long abandoned any remaining thought of going back to the game, period. I had great fun and end of story.

The maple leaf has long been symbolic of autumn, a sight which we will never see in Singapore. Perhaps when one day climate change hits its peak and we might be able to see autumn stuff then, not sure if from a standing position or looking up from the ground (punt definitely intended).

What's new for the past many months? Plenty , perhaps some been mentioned before in this blog or elsewhere but I do have a few stuff to share.

1. Ads on Youtube are getting out of hand -  to the point that every click will have you to watch an ad (99% of the time useless because I would be spamming my mouse to click the NEXT button and not even watching what the sh*t is showing on the screen). Toh long.. try not to push everyone to take up your premium Youtube. 

2. Still on Youtube. I like to watch comedy videos such as from Wah Banana. NOC made some news, so I thought i hadn't watch their videos for some time. Headed over and saw all sort of videos trying to be Mother Theresa to explain how they feel or trying to 

Firstly, I was shocked because other than the irritating ads, I was appalled how any Tom Dick or Harry can just make a video(poor quality/graphic presentation etc) and talk about other people's lives/gossip etc. C'mon, don't waste my time by putting yourself on a global platform just to watch your tasteless videos. If you cannot do a good video, don't do it. If you want to waste your time and love to talk, go talk to the mirror and record yourself. You can then attach your phone to the charger and play the video over again until the Iphone 200 comes out for all I care.

3. Grammarly - You have youth advertising this program. What other weapons of destruction should society suggest next so that the English standard of our youth continues to be eroded until they become a cup of iced milo of 90% ice and 10% milo? Wake up, not every digital stuff is helpful to humans.

4.  Living with a construction site just a stone's throw away - Living with noise pollution is painful.

For a few years, I have been surrounded by construction work on the BTO blocks opposite me or the toilet upgrading in the precinct. It has been endless hearing of construction work for so long.

Then few days ago came an email like the letter which Harry Potter receives from the owl (cant remember the name. Hagrid?) from NEA, reminding ME THAT I WAS INVITED TO TAKE PART IN A NOISE SURVEY BECAUSE THERE IS AN ONGOING CONSTRUCTION OPPPOSITE WHERE I STAY).  I believe I held back a lot of truth and Im sorry for lying even in the survey by pretending that I will not contact anyone even if the pollution was so bad. BECAUSE I TOLD THEM THAT WHAT IS THE POINT OF NOISE MONITORING AND SUGGESTING WHAT I WILL DO WHEN THE DAM CONSTRUCTION IS TO BE THERE ANYWAY? WHY TAKE THE SURVEY NOW AND NOT CONSULT AS PRIOR? I STILL BELIEVE IT IS A SIN TO MAKE A BTO BLOCK SO NEAR TO A MATURED ESTATE OF SEVERAL BLOCKS. ITS JUST LIKE MAKING A JENGA BLOCK IN THE MIDDLE OF A SQUARE OF JENGA BLOCKS.

5. Never say never.. - Well, in 2020 and towards the end of the year, Im sure many would have thought that well 2021 is going to be better for sure. We have been stuck, you know this Covid sh*t for so long, normalcy will resume, vaccine coming, back to soccer , ktv , Bangkok etc.

It was anything but the above, it turned out.

We are seeing average of 2 to 3k cases a day. Delta variant walloped humans one devastating blow, blowing all the plans into disarray. On this day, we are still facing tight restrictions. No dining of more than 2 pax unless from the same family sh*t, no soccer, no ktv, no unrestricted travelling, Im still working from home and losing my marbles. Did anything change? Yes, I'm vaccinated but at the same time also seeing for myself how many more are affected by the side effects. Its tiring and mentally drained to understand that the vaccine is necessary in our battle against the Cov*d enemy and yet need to brave ourselves for what comes next after taking the vaccine. 

I read with concern when MOH says the dead who die everyday from Covid has underlying conditions. Which elderly has no underlying conditions? One day I will be old too. So are all old people supposed to die from Covid? Another sick sh*t to think about.

6. I finally managed to cure fishes with internal diseases. Hopefully, that will go some way in placating those which have passed on.

7. I need more sleep.

Bye for now.

Mr Ussenal.

Happy Ten years old

 Once more, 16th July 2021 has come and past us by. In what was the tenth anniversary of this blog as well as our marriage, and of course my birthday, things were kept simple expectedly.

Covid19 has robbed us not only of our opportunity and rights as a human being, but also triggered the start of what we call as the opening of the memories book.

Things do not become a memory until the thing ceases; if not, we often look forward to re-creating the experience by re-doing the same favoured thing or re-visiting the same place again and again. Once we stopped by choice or by force, it becomes a memory.

News everyday would be the same. No. of cases in different countries, floods, disasters, murders... you name it, the world's got it. From feeling optimistic last year to feeling really despondent if planet Earth has got what it takes to walk out of this mess; and if we do, at what amount of damage are we talking about?

Covid19 has not only attacked the hosts it clings onto. It has also indirectly affected livelihoods, aspiring futures of people, weddings, employment. Businesses are wondering what is next to come and how do they go on from here. Students are tired and everyone is tired. I look at the senior folks and they are tired too. They can't travel and can only stay cooped up in their homes for long. What's next ? 

Covid19 has come out to inflict extremely mortal damage. It looks like it is never ending.

However, that is because we are in the thick midst of this tornado which just isn't about to stop yet.

When we are in the thick of it, its difficult to see what could look like from the outside. Perhaps the storm is clearing, just that we can't see from where we are. Positive thinking? Perhaps.

On a brighter note, 10 years of ups and downs and I still see it as an unpolished diamond. In life, its not just about what we do when we are happy but also what we do together when we are sad. We look forward to happy moments of course, such as going to Bangkok but also learn what is like to be able to support each other when times are bad.

Till to the next time again, blog.

Mr Ussenal

Thumbs Up, everything is going to be okay + Happy Birthday MrsUssenal!

The chime of the church bell opposite signifies the start of a new month. Today is 1st June 2021 and today is Mrs Ussenal's birthday! 

Quickly, another year has passed. It was just last year when we had the circuit breaker and again, we are having some Phase 2 heightened alert or whatever that is called.

Time is something that we all learn when we were young. I learnt it in my kindergarten and get to understand better what is time when I started to go to school. I learnt what was like to be under pressure to submit assignments at a given deadline and exam dates to follow.

The awareness of time was later further 'refined' when I got to the army. I learnt how to be ready in a minute's time for inspection and how 5 minutes can change many things in sports such as basketball and soccer.

We all pledge and sing the same song that time is precious and we must treasure time. The time we have on this planet is limited and some say that perhaps the time we have in this world has been set long time ago. However, no matter how much time God has set for anyone is perhaps short to say.

When I was young, I felt that 5 years is a long period. That mindset starts to dilute as I grew up, having more responsibilities and things taking up my time. While 5 years is still not a short period of time, I began to remember more things and easily recalling what happened ten years ago - tantamount to what I had said earlier. Is time getting shorter? No, but we become more aware and dread the days that continue to fly past us even as I now type. I look at Facebook memories and wondered where did the time go? 2017 memories which felt like they just happened months ago.

The dread of time ticking by is felt more solemnly perhaps by people who unfortunately may not have long to live. 

Recently,  Uncle Chong, or the 'siao sa' uncle of Mrs Ussenal has passed away due to cancer.

As suave as ever, Uncle Chong took it well and even arranged for his funeral to be as simple as possible and not even wanting anyone to be at his bedside if he is about to pass on. Will settled and his post death matters all done, he was housed in Assisi Hospice until his last day.

Uncle Chong had perhaps spent many days visiting Uncle Wai when Uncle Wai was also in the same hospice, and knowing that the hospice could be where he may want to rest one day. The sofa chair that he had sat on for many days while accompanying Uncle Wai had turned out to be his companion on days when families and friends were not around. 

Assisi is a serene place for patients to rest and have peace. However, for visitors, it is the most difficult place to come to. 

Every time the taxi climbs up the slope to the lobby, it is another trip where I would ask myself if this is the last I would see my love one today. It was the same for Uncle Wai, Uncle Daniel and Uncle Chong.

It was painful and heartbreaking once the loved one can no longer attend to talk to you but sleep. Because, from that moment, the D day is not far away.

Although I was not close to Uncle Chong, I looked forward to going over to Purmei on CNY eve partly because I knew I could listen to the many stories of Uncle Wai and Chong. Last year's CNY eve was the last I had heard from Uncle Chong as he was already not well leading up to this year's CNY eve.

Uncle Chong is an extremely intelligent man. He had walked the globe and seen many things. Street mart some call it. I prefer to think that he is an extremely observant person and thinks and process why. This critical type of thinking sadly is found lacking in many of our youth of today. He is able to decipher the root of things and argue with reasonable articulateness.

It was thus, difficult to watch, as week after week, he got weaker. The thumbs up was strong and good the first week. Second week, he was weaving in and out but could still carry a conversation. Just as I listened, the thumbs up came out suddenly, as if to acknowledge my presence and that my crabs and I are well. By the third week, he was sleeping and woke up when I called him. He did not say anything but went back to sleep. It was at this point that I knew that the opportunity to converse with him has passed. All we could was to just hold vigil every time we visit and talk amongst ourselves, perhaps knowing and unknowingly consoling ourselves in that manner.

A friend related to me how her daughter cried non stop when her favourite fish was found dead lying on the floor one day. I explained that to a child, the sight of seeing something dear, which was just lively and happily looking at the child the previous day but dry and dead the next can be traumatic. The child surely does not know how to process the sudden feeling of loss and helplessness and that the beautiful fish will never be able to swim for her again.

I once told a student that the death or the impending death of a loved one is the most difficult emotion to handle. It is difficult to understand, let alone to write. Will doing it (facing the death of a loved one) more often make the ride less painful each time? I don't think so. Perhaps we get more familiar with what to do in terms of the logistics. But I realize that the pain seem to get worse because I start to feel each loss more keenly than the last. It doesn't gets less painful because the knife is less blunt.. it cuts even more sharply than ever because the wound hurts the same place time and again.

Although I do not know where is Uncle Chong  now, I hope he is at peace and finally free of his ill body. Up till today, there was a rosary found with him and nobody seem to have claimed it. I muttered a simple prayer when we down to the hospice in the wee hours of the day he passed that I hope he be in good hands wherever he is and that the Lord will bring him to sit by Him.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away" (Revelation 21:4).

Ronaldo and a Special Needs Boy

 

Doooo(Sound of train door opening).

From the windowpane of the doors of the train, I saw a stout-looking young man who seemed ready for his adventure once the doors open to him.

Open! Doo doo, he grabbed the standing poles tightly with his 2 fit arms. That caught my eyes.

Tanjong Pagar Sttaaaation, he slapped on the panel directory board. He slapped again twice on the Woodlands Station.

Chikk chikkk (train moving)..

A petite lady nearby seemed to be struggling with his presence. She fidgeted, looked for some tiny space on the right, but gave up after thinking she would need to maneuver past me.

Chik chik dooo .. The youth turned over. "AH... keep clear do not lean on the doors. Dover Next!"

Doooo "Let the kids go first ah". The train moves on and he went to the panel and slapped Buona Vista. The petitie lady immediately seized on the opportune moment and slides into my right. Still, she seemed uptight, perhaps feeling claustrophobic standing beside me.

A fresh commuter came in looked behind twice at the youth, wondering who was this...

I smiled at him when he makes the sound effects, it was cool and provided a breath of light-hearted moment in what has been months of suppressed times. 

More people may be more understanding towards special needs people nowadays, may still find it hard, scary and worrisome when they are socialising with an SN person, as evidenced by the lady on the train.

When I look at them, I used to feel a bit sad and wasted for them. That, they are not able to enjoy life like ours. However, as I slowly realise, I found that they seemed special because they are enjoying themselves in their own world and by their own definitions of what they think to make them happy. How many of us even know what makes us truly happy and would go on to do that exactly?

Most of the time, we keep quiet when we see something shameful, unjust, or even in love when a doting parent showers love but most of us just rather choose to shy away.

The youth displayed true happiness on the train today, happy at slapping the directory panel, making sound effects, playing the train warden, and even knowing how to apologising when he knew he had accidentally blocked the way of 2 elderly folks. He knows the extent his fun should go to and how many of us can do that? Aren't the normal us always capable of doing something disastrous always in the name of fun?

This week is the week of SPED(Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, and ADHD awareness. Perhaps as the world starts to live life fuller and more meaningful post covid, it would be meaningful to understand better what is inclusiveness all about.

"Bukit Batok" Ok AH, let the kids go first ah!.. chik chik chik..

Ronaldo is after all only a normal person, isn't he?

Amazing Grace- We will meet again, Uncle Daniel

 

Today marks the day that Uncle Daniel was put to rest.

It was only less than 2 months ago that Uncle Richard had left us to meet the Lord. Whilst everyone was still coming to terms of the sudden passing of Uncle Richard, there was no doubt that the family knew it couldn't avoid; the critical situation regarding Uncle Daniel and what may follow up next.

Uncle Daniel was diagnosed with cancer on or around May 2020 after having issues with his mouth for some time. As no radiotherapy or chemotherapy was taken, Uncle Daniel's health deteriorated swiftly and he had to adhere to a liquid diet months ago when he could no longer swallow anything solid.

Uncle Daniel was a great cook and a person who loved to eat. He was also a great bass singer in Church and a person who could easily 'cover' the singing duties of 1 - 2 more choir members should they be absent. I had a few uncles and aunties in the church choir of Glory Presbyterian Church and when I visited the Church in the past, I would always stick my neck out to look out for my uncles and aunties and feel so proud of them. I would always lookout for Uncle Daniel and followed by Auntie Helen. Uncle Daniel was chubby and it was easy to spot him; but just listening to his voice, you could single out where he was too.

When I was young, I, unlike my other cousins who had studied at Nanyang Primary School, did not stay at my grandparents' house. I would only visit during the Sundays and the occasional Saturdays. I was not a very strong kid when it comes to staying overnight at other people's house and I was easily homesick.

Together with my cousins, we still had a lot of fun and naughty times with some of my uncles. One of them was Uncle Daniel. I remembered that in the Primary 2 English textbook, there were 2 characters, Millie and Mollie. Millie was the skinny girl and Mollie the plump one. As kids, we easily and rather mischievously, would call Uncle Daniel Mollie as he would chased us off his bed when we were jumping around in his room or playing his computer secretly. The incoming swarm of his arm was never threatening but still once the arm raises to the 45 degrees, we would run for our lives and sneak around only to try to provoke him when he seemed to have abandoned the mission of skinning us alive.

I remembered when I was maybe 13, there was an opportunity to stay at the Shangri-La hotel in Sentosa. If not wrong, i remembered it was Uncle Daniel and Auntie Juliet who brought us there. it was fun and we had a nice time drinking a nice glass of orange juice in some lounge and enjoying the waterfall at our balcony.

On a more recent time, I spoke with Uncle Daniel at length at a Christmas party organised by my brother at his condo. We talked about some insurance plans and the need to always have spare cash at hand and back up plans for the future.

Individually, I do not regret that I and Uncle Daniel did not spend more time together or have more memories to remember of. That is because I know that the rest of my family are always in receipt of his selfless love. 

The past few days of service at his funeral have made me realised fully what an influential member of the family he was to nearly everyone in my family. He was close to my late grandparents and was also close to several of my family members, whom he had impacted in one way or another over the years. I would hear of so many stories of him being selfless and always  willing to serve and take care of his loved ones. He would dabao not 1 or 2 but 10 packets of the buns or snacks every time he visits us or meet up with my parents. 

I also learnt how he would make breakfast daily for my cousin Nicholas when he was schooling at Nanyang and how he would be the nanny dad to my cousins Justina and Jason when my auntie Joanna and Uncle David Tan was away in Hong Kong and Malaysia. Or how he would always be the first to fetch my 3rd Uncle to and fro whenever he returns from Beijing. The mee siam and belanchan chilli he makes... The testimonies from my family were impactful and powerful. They were also difficult as every testimony was stuffed with tears and emotion threatening to choke the speaker; but yet, with such earnest yearning to speak out what has been in their hearts for so long. It was at times similarly difficult to watch but yet full support of the family was flat out.

Over the past 2 months, everyone took turns to visit Uncle Daniel after he was admitted to hospital and the hospices. One big disadvantage the current safety measures dealt us was our number. Our family easily amounted up to 30+ adults excluding the little ones. We had to deal with registration, take turns to rotate and then share what were the eventful things we experience with Uncle Daniel or things to take note for the next visitor.

On a few critical occasions, we nearly lost Uncle Daniel too when he was bleeding non stop from his mouth. It then became apparent that his situation was transient; after we learnt that he would either die if his bleeding doesn't stop or when it bleeds and chokes him such that he will not be able to breathe. Both ways were painful and definitely not acceptable. Everyone of us continued to pray that his situation will improve.

In January, his condition improved after the bleeding seemed to have stopped to a once-per day thing. He was able to converse with us and asked questions and for a while I thought hey, the man's back. At that moment, I thought that perhaps he would still do well for longer but deep down i wondered for how long as he was not receiving the chemo etc. treatment a  cancer patient would be taking.

Fast forward 2 weeks from the last visit, his condition started to deteriorate and his morphine intake started to increase as the pain was getting difficult to be overpowering. 

On Chinese New Year Eve, at his wish, some family members took Uncle Daniel out to the beach and then to Auntie Joanna's home for a reunion lunch. It was heart warming to watch the cheers and smiles so gradient around him.

However, when Uncle Daniel was brought back to the hospice, he was weak and very tired. The next day when I was still tired after having a long night at Purmei for the reunion dinner, we received news that Uncle Daniel was critical and that family members should come down for a last look.

The sight of the entire family taking queue to go up to see him for the last time was torturous. It was saddening to see Uncle Daniel breathing through his mouth and weaving in and out of consciousness. Just within minutes of the family leaving to go home and await further news, news came that situation had turned critical and doctors advised for a couple of family members to stay behind.

At around midnight that same day, Uncle Daniel passed away.

The struggle of deciding if to fight the cancer or to let nature take its course is real. Do cancer patients fight their very best just that their family can see them alive and be spared the agony of losing them? Until when? What if the battle is long drawn and the family continues to struggle physically and mentally with the patient? Or what if the cancer is a recurrence? What does the patient decides this time round?

Uncle Daniel's decision was to entrust everything to the Lord. If there is a miracle, then he be saved. If his time has come, he will take it then. Like Uncle Richard, this was a personal choice and we do not have a right to decide for them. What was most important that the family is supportive and clearly, the family has supported him all the way to the end.

The road down Mandai has become more familiar as we age. This is a fact that we all cannot run away from as part of our growing up process. We have had fun and and with age comes the other side of growing old. Time is never on our side and with every ticking minute, time is lost.

The past few days have not been easy. It was difficult for my senior aunties and uncles whom are already getting on in age. I pray for them every single day that all my senior folk are always healthy and happy. Be what may be bothering them, i pray that the Lord listens to their hearts and keep them always safe and in a body healthy and fit as an eagle every day.

if Uncle Richard's sudden passing was cruel, perhaps the Lord gave us more time to be prepared for Uncle Daniel's impeding departure. The Lord's amazing grace is sufficient for everyone and the song Amazing Grace has always been the top Christian song which tug at heart strings so well. I'm sure that this cannot be written by a human. The theme music must have been composed by God himself.

The above rendition was played at the funeral service and while the old and traditional one is good, this is equally amazing.

I was told that when we meet in Heaven again, we will remember who we were although the relationship such as that of an uncle-nephew, husband-wife would cease. I do not quite understand that now. How nice wouldn't it be to continue the relationship with that of our parents or even grandparents in Heaven? 

I miss my Grandfather a lot and I always wondered what a fool I was at his hospital bed before he was about to go for his operation. I remembered i was still a bit shy to talk to him after ignoring him at his house after he had knocked his hands into my nose while preparing a cup of honey drink for me. I didn't know that he was going for an operation, an operation which he never woke up from. He taught us a few things and he hand written a Psalm 23(his favourite psalm) for our Xmas recitation of the Bible verses, as part of a performance we would do for our guests which also include a sketch and a piano piece play. I was often like a little lost lamb when I was young and did not keep that note properly.

It was such a long time since my Grandfather's passing that I had seen such an outpouring of grief from my aunties and uncles. It was heart wrenching when you consider that Uncle Richard had only just passed away 2 months ago and that the family had to walk to Mandai 2 times in 2 months.

Quickly we are already at the middle of February 2021. Hopefully there will be more good news for the family and for everyone to celebrate. The see saw has got to go up after it's down so that it moves, isn't it?

Mr Ussenal

Merry Christmas 2020

Unprecedented. This word has been the most overused word this year I would say. As many would know, it is unprecedented that it has to become law to wear masks whenever out of our homes. It is also unprecedented that Christmas will be spent with no more than extra 5 visitors and eat with no more than 5 at each table. The list could still go on such as no party, no bonus, no increment, and so on...

It could become an easy word to misuse and treat it as an excuse for everything else. Covid, unprecedented, so what's there to celebrate? What is there to be happy about? It's unprecedented! So, let's just suck it up and let our heads bow down until such time when we can truly be happy, to be happy.

However, should we really allow that to happen?

What has happened, has happened. What will happen, nobody knows or can predict what will happen. I learnt a quote from the past. " Do not let what you cannot do affect what you can do." 

Borrowing another famous quote from "Dumbledore: Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

We can be shrouded in sadness or allow it to overtake us. However, all we need is to remember to turn on the light. Even a speck of light will render a room of darkness weak.

The year 2020 has taught me a serious lesson. Often, I would always bear as much as possible and just strive to work it out until the next time I have a proper break, say a holiday in Thailand. I would work or just put behind whatever bad there was and feel consoled that my big break is coming. Anything else can wait.

End of the year 2019 was bad. Bad news and more bad news. I looked forward to the BKK trip in Jan and absorbed all other bad news and pushed it to the back of my mind.

Start of the year 2020 was equally challenging the way 2019 ended. I was overwhelmed at a certain point and just then Covid struck. The circuit breakers, the fast and furious manner in which the entire world struggled to cope with and adjust to the perils of the dangerous virus was just too much I thought. I had no escape this time. I had no chance to run to Batam or Bangkok to hide away. I had to take on challenges face on and by the horns.

I learnt how not to stash away fears and run to my comfort zone and wait for the tide to go. I learnt that it is no big deal for the year to must end on a best high or that every year must have a good ending for it to be good. I learnt that life is full of ups and downs and one cannot possibly wait for the tide to be up in order to be happy and strong mentally. I learnt that problems can come and go easily; happiness can go and also return easily.

As such, Christmas is perhaps an important time to remember all these. Even when we are in self-despair, think about those who are in situations worse off.

This year's present for the Missus is special. Need to keep up with the times, thus went shopping around and again, another HP merchandise to add to the collection of HP.

The Deathly Hallows. To some, it presents some occult. To me, it just meant one thing. Its the most powerful symbol in the whole of HP(correct me if I'm wrong) that when in possession together, it makes the person the most powerful wizard ever. Ok, not trying to be foolish here, but its a gift to for a good year ahead to beat the challenges and come out victorious every time. The time turner charm was nice, but albeit too big I feel.

However, most importantly, it is a time for families to get together. Despite having only 5 visitors at any time, it was good to see loved ones having a good time together after what has been a really difficult year for anyone.

Nice food, nice companionship and drinks.

Merry Christmas and I'm sure by this time next year, it will be better than now.

Mr Ussenal.

The Diam Diam Era - Handsome Boy in Stirling Road.

 

Recently, I had the chance to watch Jack Neo's latest movie The Diam Diam Era in the cinema. It was fun and nostalgic and together with the 60s to 80s soundtracks, it just made the ticket worth several times the outlay I paid for it.

Not for any special occasion, but as a need to put together a team video for the office online Xmas celebrations, I had to dig some old photos and it brought me to the video montage of our kiddos time which we had put up for our guests during our wedding. Many memories and it just seemed like yesteryear when I was still wearing the spiderman t-shirt.

Nostalgia. XXXXX

2 Timothy 4:7

 I have bid farewell to my Uncle Richard, the closest brother to my father, and probably the uncle closest and have been closest to my family since I was young.

The year 2020 has been a year of unnerving emotions. A near full year I would call. WIth Covid19, it has wreaked havoc for the entire world and reset several things. Some would see it as a consolation that it has made them see things from an alternative perspective, work being digitalized etc, and so on. Alas, had the disease not struck, will these still be called as a "consolation" to their lives?

The year started with the very difficult impending departure of Uncle Wai. It's one of the hardest things to accept seeing family going through what he went through and we go through what we have seen. You anticipate, and then hope against hope and then finally accept and wait for the due.

Then, a parent of a neighbour passed away after being in a coma for 2 days, and family pulling the plug when the doctor declared him brain dead and no chance of revival. Surviving children were only 7 and 5 years old. What is worse than waking up and not seeing yr dad who would have been his hero anymore? A life is cruelly taken away just like that.

Weeks ago, I visited my favourite shop where I would get my office wear and was shocked when the first words i heard upon stepping foot into the shop was to hear the passing of the uncle, the owner of the shop. I remembered the uncle as an ever accomodating person and that was the reason I have always patronised. I could not imagine that the visit before the covid would turn out to the last time I saw him.

Uncle Richard had been battling with a clogged artery situation for the past year.  He had had a bypass surgery several years ago, but unfortunately, the condition has returned and doctors gave the bad news that his heart was only functioning at 10 to 15%. It was a precarious situation and he had to undergo surgery immediately failing which he may have heart failure. Days before the op, he decided to withdraw from the appointment and then cancel the whole operation altogether. He wanted to try and just live on and if he should 'go', he would want to leave without pain or fuss. Despite advice against such a move, Uncle Richard felt that he does not want to die in the immediate surgery which would have taken place about this time last year. 

Instead, he tried to lead a more relaxed life and went on to visit all over Singapore, and at the same time, he has begun to return to the Lord. 

He would tag several people including me in FB on morning wishes and blessings from the Bible until one day when he said that due to unforeseen circumstances, he had to stop. I thought he had perhaps been tired and not feeling well. Never did I expect to find out that he had suffered a heart attack days ago. 

On 4 December 2020, I received news that he had passed away in his sleep. I cannot understand and cannot accept how quickly time has reached. The doctor said"anytime".. How did the 'anytime' become the time now?

As I was involved and wanted to take part in JY's wedding, I had to give the funeral a miss. My heart pained when I could only see the live stream of the services up to the cremation, of my aging uncles and aunties whom i have always loved to talk and mingle with. They lost a beloved brother and I lost an uncle who had shown dote on me no less than what a father would give to a son.

I would now miss his nagging (nags to my parents), his smiles (he has hardly shown a black face ever before), his dao sa pia ,bak kwas and food that he would buy when he strike 4D, such as an expensive duck for dinner.

Knowing that he may have little tech support on his phone and limited laptop, I felt the need to help and assist in what I can. What I had learned from him was that he was very open to new stuff such as tech gadgets. He would read learn online on how to use the computer and handphones as opposed to my father, who had very little exposure to tech stuff was very reluctant to even use Whatsapp.

As said by one of my uncles, Uncle Richard led a simple life. His hobby was to play the jackpot and he had treated closed ones with love. I still remembered he bought me a desktop, which costs $2k when I was 16 I guess. Looking back, Uncle Richard was not always very rich; but to fork out $2k like that shows his generosity and love for me. During the days when he was still working, he would also give $50 as a weekly allowance to me. He was never a miser and when he strikes some lottery, he would always bring my parents out for a meal, or just bring them to MBS or around Yishun for a get-together. I guess my parents have lost a very close brother and a companion who has been with them for decades. Even in the Chua family, he has always played the role of the sweeper; quietly standing away from the limelight and often with us during gatherings.

I was not able to write any messages on the condolence book or leave any message during the live stream when asked to but I m sure being tech-savvy, he would read this blog when he is free and know what I had to say.

In life, we always keep our heartfelt words as heartfelt, until it becomes too late. Most of us are unwilling to exhibit our true feelings often until there is no more opportunity to do so.

Just when I thought Christmas would be the last saving grace to have any left in a year turned upside down by Covid, Uncle Richard's passing away has been like a kick to a beggar whose bowl of coins would spiral across the streets and into the drains.  Uncle Richard's birthday falls on Christmas and I suppose the yearly noisy gathering of the Chua family would be quiet; a deafening quiet.

Despite the emotional struggles that have been an onslaught, we must never lose faith in our Lord. I trust in his plans for all of us and his timing for what develops in our lives is always impeccable.

Uncle Richard has fought the fight, finished the course, and kept the faith. It is our turn to continue to do so.

The Chimes ring ..Happy birthday Mrs Ussenal!

As the clock struck 12pm, the chimes from the Church ringing at the backdrop of Bukit Batok St. 11 served encouragement as we embark on the start of the middle of the year.

Certain sounds play a part in my growing up. Just like how songs affect a person's mood and recall certain memories, sounds do the same for me.

When I was young, as young as a 9-year-old, I would spend time just lying on my parents' bed and just listening to the sound of aeroplanes flying past on top. There was a beer factory opposite where I used to stay, which was then converted to a Condo and named aptly as The Anchorage. It always had the sound of a certain insect, which you would normally hear in the trees especially on a hot day.

These sounds would sometimes combine with the piano or violin sound the neighbours staying on top would play, seemingly creating a mini symphony of sorts. It would bring peace to my young and free mind and make me fall asleep easily when I was mostly bored.

When I was serving NS, we have had to spend days outfield. In the 12 years of NS and reservist duties, the same sounds that I loved to hear when I was young accompanied me well. 

Likewise, the chimes that I hear every 1st day of the month would bring a soothing 5 seconds peace and also an encouragement that whatever's gone bad the previous month has passed. A new month beckons and time to continue working hard to put another's month worth in the bag.

However, this year has been different. We have seen the impact of what Covid-19 has done to the lives of many. It has been unfair and sad and especially for people who may have lost their businesses, career plans and loved ones to the disease.

Many people are worried about what things will be like in the near future, be it a vaccine is found or not. Perhaps a lesser worried if a vaccine is found, but no doubt that lives will change from henceforth.

However, it is equally important not to be overdrawn on that matter. Of course, we find for the first time in this generation, that we have had to live more responsibly. It has been a given that we were very fortunate to have avoided being born in the World War era. We felt for too long that life will be rosy and we would just occupy ourselves with the daily problems which come and go.

The Covid19 may go on to be an everlasting issue that humans will have to learn to live with, be it a vaccine is found or not. There may be worse viruses coming out which we will have no idea how to grapple with in future.

Thus, it is important that we have to remain focused on our purpose - which is to live.

When we look back in history, there have been many life-changing events such as World War 1 and 2, various dangerous diseases outbreak. If you go even further back in time, to dynasties even, where the people living then would have faced even more situations where they have hardly any room to negotiate the living terms. Do they back then, have a chance to ask why is this happening?

However, I am confident that God has plans for everything. I'm sure many Christians or other faiths may be questioning themselves why has God allowed this to happen, to bring upon hundreds of thousands of deaths and it still appears far from over. It is easy to lose faith but hold my beer. The Lord often has plans of His own and all He ever requires from us is just faith. We see Churches closed and only able to bring sermons online and I believe that He has a plan though at the end how to manage the situation. We, as humans are perhaps just not at that level of thinking to comprehend whatever is going on and will go on.

Today is Mrs Ussenal's birthday. This is the first time perhaps that we will celebrate it at home. Not a bad idea exactly. As I write, gifts of food and cakes have been delivered to our doorstep non-stop, delivering to us love and best wishes from friends living far apart from us.

Events such as Covid19 are no doubt threatening to the existence of the human race, but more often than not, humans have often proved adaptative and armed with technology, we will come out tops provided we are united. As in the Bible times, I believe the tower to God may be completed had God not intercepted.

Let's hope that the lifting of the Circuit Breaker represents the start of more good things to come not only for Singapore but also for the rest of the world.